Beans Joke

Green-Moo · #1 (**permalink**) 22-03-2008, 06:43 PM

Ok, this has nothing to do with Bingo, but I liked it

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and wentto answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

lena_mae1983 · #2 (**permalink**) 23-03-2008, 04:58 PM

Omg! ROFL that is the funniest thing I ever heard. How did all those people even keep quiet with that going on. I would have been hysterical. LOL

trick-r-treat · #3 (**permalink**) 23-03-2008, 07:26 PM

Ha, ha!! I've heard that one before. But it sounds like something I just might do!

mollyL · #4 (**permalink**) 26-03-2008, 04:57 PM

Very funny!! I must call my big brother and tell him that joke! Even though he is entering his sixties, he has always had a fondness for, er "bean jokes" and any time I can top him with a joke I feel very proud.

trick-r-treat · #5 (**permalink**) 27-03-2008, 01:03 AM

I would love to hear more "bean" jokes. Does anyone have any others? molly - do you have any that your brother tells?

lena_mae1983 · #6 (**permalink**) 27-03-2008, 01:50 PM

I told this joke to my dad and step mom yesterday and my step mom spewed soda out of her nose. LOL

tater03 · #7 (**permalink**) 27-03-2008, 03:23 PM

I had not heard this one yet. That is to funny. My father in law will love this one. He seems to have a thing for the fart jokes. This would be just to embarrassing if it really happened. I would want to just die.